Now that I’ve been a regular person for nearly two years, my outlook on weddings is changing.
Weddings never bothered me back when I was a nun. After all, I was already married to Jesus (no, really, that’s the best way to describe it). Someone’s wedding was a break from the convent routine and a few hours to enjoy other people’s happiness and kids I didn’t have to teach.
But lately I look at happy couples in beautiful gowns and tuxedos… and here I am, still trying to get through a date without my Inner Mother Superior ruining it. Seriously, world, give me a break! I read Cosmo as religiously as I read my Bible. I’m learning how to flirt. I’m dressing sexier… okay, I’m dressing less like the “before” picture on a makeover website. That ought to count for something.
And nobody give me any grief about how I’m occasionally dating my boss, please. I know how to maintain boundaries. Sometimes I know how to maintain them so well that I think I’m squashing any possible romance between us. Aren’t I the proper lady? Argh.
But all that is nowhere near as important as our current case. My friends’ baby has been kidnapped—adorable, sweet Katie who they just adopted a month ago. And Frank’s being a major poophead about it. Why that man still thinks like a glass-half-full policeman is beyond me. I was a nun longer than he was a cop and I’m wearing low-cut blouses after less than two years. He’s been a private investigator for three years.
Girls rule; boys drool. Heh.
Despite Frank’s gloomy kidnapping statistics, I—we—are going to bring Katie home. We have the inside track, because the kidnappers’ messages sound like they ought to belong to a certain church that pickets everything they disagree with. If it’s Bible-related, I’m your man—so to speak.
Sidney’s wedding is on Christmas Eve. We have four days to find Katie, and I’m about to go undercover again. Not in a convent this time—in the exclusive lesbian resort where my friends and the other couples whose babies were snatched all stayed. A resort is a resort, right? People swim and ride horses, and ski, and eat a lot. What could possibly be different at this one?
It’s small potatoes. On Christmas Eve Katie will be back home with her moms and Frank and I will dance at Sidney’s all-natural wedding. We will make this happen. Period. And I will wear something a little bit sexy, just like Cosmo says. Frank had better be prepared.
Meet the author
Alice Loweecey is a former nun who went from the convent to playing prostitutes on stage to accepting her husband’s marriage proposal on the second date. Her sons clamor for dramatic cameos in future books, but she’s thinking they’ll make good Redshirts.
She is a member of Mystery Writers of America and Sisters in Crime. VEILED THREAT (arrived 2/8/13) is her third Falcone and Driscoll Investigation. The first two, Force of Habit and Back in the Habit, are in stores and online now.